You have lots to thank others for. Are you getting it done?

I'm fully aware that I'm reading from page one in the big book of clichés as I quote Poul Bundgaard in Farinelli: "Thanks is just a cheap word. It means more than you think." (That is, if you belong to my generation). But it is pretty wild what it means to us humans to receive recognition for contributing to each other. And what it means to us to feel overlooked. 

Other people are involved in practically everything I do in any given week of working: my co-founder, colleagues, investors, clients, suppliers – some have been around me for years, some are entirely new relations. 

Danny Passmann is a partner at a Los Angeles law firm, and I have been coaching him since 2010. As we wrapped up our weekly video call the other night, he said: "You need to know how much of a difference you make for me." 

I'm not the kind who takes praise well, so I blushed. As he expanded his compliment, I watched him, hoping he would stop, but at the same time wanting him to continue. I began thinking about how to reciprocate his thankfulness, but I held it back, said thanks, and told him that his kind words meant a lot to me. He smiled, and we said our see ya's. 

When a man like Danny thanks me so wholeheartedly, there is virtually no limit to what I will do for Danny in our future work together. He has made me important in his life, so I'm making him important in mine. I'm sure that this exchange will mean much to our collaboration in the coming years, and to the things we can accomplish together. 

"I'm not the kind who takes praise well, so I blushed. As he expanded his compliment, I watched him, hoping he would stop, but at the same time wanting him to continue. I began thinking about how to reciprocate his thankfulness, but I held it back, said thanks, and told him that his kind words meant a lot to me. He smiled, and we said our see ya's. "

I think it's an existential thing. When we receive recognition for our contributions and participation in the lives of others, we feel alive and part of a greater whole. We are seen and taken in. This, of course, means that any future downturns, fiascos, and disappointments will be easier to handle. 

When we thank each other, we activate unknown potentials and, at the same time, create a foundation for strong collaboration. 

"When we thank each other, we activate unknown potentials and, at the same time, create a foundation for strong collaboration."

My co-founder Oliver understands this fact well. He has been disappointed in this respect many times. The worst case was when a former close business partners proudly shared the results of a recent assignment with a large group of people. Regrettably, Oliver’s partner failed to add that the results were achieved by a group effort and not by the partner alone. It had happened several times before. Oliver experienced a sort of dissolution of the business alliance, along with a sense of being forgotten. 

I asked him how he reacted, and what the consequence was. "I immediately began looking around for other people to make new alliances with. In part to not be alone, but certainly also to compete against my partner. I wanted to demonstrate that I was stronger than him and able to manage without him. ”

Oliver saw first-hand how unease and adverse dynamics began to develop within his group. "I became a martyr, and my reaction was almost destructive."

The partner's intentions were probably innocent, and perhaps it was just a memory lapse that made him not share the honor with Oliver. But the negative consequences were overwhelming and affected everyone involved.

When I am invited to give a presentation to a larger group of people, I experience the attendees' commitment one on one. It's a bit different when I write these columns. I write in the hope of inspiring you to go to work with a different attitude on Monday. But I have no contact with you, so I don't know if it actually happens. One of the staffers at Berlingske Business can probably tell me how many of you read my columns, but I have no idea if you are inspired by them.

So here's my meta take on this: my columns improve greatly when I get recognized for them. Therefore, here is your opportunity to write me at erik@weareheadlight.com and let me know what you get out of them. I'm sure it will please you at least as much as it will please me. And of course you can also write to let me know that what I'm saying is junk.

Words by Erik Algreen,
Co-Founder of Headlight & Executive Coach

I'm fully aware that I'm reading from page one in the big book of clichés as I quote Poul Bundgaard in Farinelli: "Thanks is just a cheap word. It means more than you think." (That is, if you belong to my generation). But it is pretty wild what it means to us humans to receive recognition for contributing to each other. And what it means to us to feel overlooked.

Other people are involved in practically everything I do in any given week of working: my co-founder, colleagues, investors, clients, suppliers – some have been around me for years, some are entirely new relations.

Danny Passmann is a partner at a Los Angeles law firm, and I have been coaching him since 2010. As we wrapped up our weekly video call the other night, he said: "You need to know how much of a difference you make for me."

I'm not the kind who takes praise well, so I blushed. As he expanded his compliment, I watched him, hoping he would stop, but at the same time wanting him to continue. I began thinking about how to reciprocate his thankfulness, but I held it back, said thanks, and told him that his kind words meant a lot to me. He smiled, and we said our see ya's.

When a man like Danny thanks me so wholeheartedly, there is virtually no limit to what I will do for Danny in our future work together. He has made me important in his life, so I'm making him important in mine. I'm sure that this exchange will mean much to our collaboration in the coming years, and to the things we can accomplish together.

"I'm not the kind who takes praise well, so I blushed. As he expanded his compliment, I watched him, hoping he would stop, but at the same time wanting him to continue. I began thinking about how to reciprocate his thankfulness, but I held it back, said thanks, and told him that his kind words meant a lot to me. He smiled, and we said our see ya's. "

I think it's an existential thing. When we receive recognition for our contributions and participation in the lives of others, we feel alive and part of a greater whole. We are seen and taken in. This, of course, means that any future downturns, fiascos, and disappointments will be easier to handle.

When we thank each other, we activate unknown potentials and, at the same time, create a foundation for strong collaboration.

"When we thank each other, we activate unknown potentials and, at the same time, create a foundation for strong collaboration."

My co-founder Oliver understands this fact well. He has been disappointed in this respect many times. The worst case was when a former close business partners proudly shared the results of a recent assignment with a large group of people. Regrettably, Oliver’s partner failed to add that the results were achieved by a group effort and not by the partner alone. It had happened several times before. Oliver experienced a sort of dissolution of the business alliance, along with a sense of being forgotten.

I asked him how he reacted, and what the consequence was. "I immediately began looking around for other people to make new alliances with. In part to not be alone, but certainly also to compete against my partner. I wanted to demonstrate that I was stronger than him and able to manage without him. ”

Oliver saw first-hand how unease and adverse dynamics began to develop within his group. "I became a martyr, and my reaction was almost destructive."

The partner's intentions were probably innocent, and perhaps it was just a memory lapse that made him not share the honor with Oliver. But the negative consequences were overwhelming and affected everyone involved.

When I am invited to give a presentation to a larger group of people, I experience the attendees' commitment one on one. It's a bit different when I write these columns. I write in the hope of inspiring you to go to work with a different attitude on Monday. But I have no contact with you, so I don't know if it actually happens. One of the staffers at Berlingske Business can probably tell me how many of you read my columns, but I have no idea if you are inspired by them.

So here's my meta take on this: my columns improve greatly when I get recognized for them. Therefore, here is your opportunity to write me at erik@weareheadlight.com and let me know what you get out of them. I'm sure it will please you at least as much as it will please me. And of course you can also write to let me know that what I'm saying is junk.